The Romanticism of the Great
“What If?”
By Bronte Appleby
Please note: The following article contains spoilers for “Persuasion” by Jane Austen, “A Midsummer’s Night Dream” by William Shakespeare, “Every Day” by David Levithan and “For One More Day” by Mitch Albom. If you have not read these books then I greatly suggest that you do, not only because they are great reads, but it will make the article make a lot more sense!
“Tell me not that I am too late, that such precious feelings are gone forever”
When Captain Frederick Wentworth, the new gentleman and romantic hero of Jane Austen’s “Persuasion”, notes these immortal words down in a plight to win back his lost love - many of us, I’m sure, swooned. How fantastic would be it be for the guy we lost to come back, emotionally open and say “what if we got the ending we deserved?” What if we did actually get everything we ever wanted? What would the world be, then? Perhaps this was even a sentiment that Austen herself would have pondered after her brief courtship with a youngIrishman named Tom Lefroy ended. Whilst we’ll never know, it’s a universal thought that all of us have had at some point, right? Whether reading Persuasion, crying over a break up whilst blasting Billie Eilish or simply pondering it at a brief moment in passing. Haven’t we all thought - why is the “what if?” so appealing? Why is the grass always greener on the other side?
A Better Version of The Relationship
The first reason why the “What If?” may be so appealing is perhaps because we, as people, want to imagine a blissful, more harmonious version of a relationship that slipped away from us. A life better treated. They want to claim back the good bits and improve on the bad bits.
Now, don’t think for a second that this model is anything revolutionary – William Shakespeare knew what he was doing when his lover Helena was pining over former beauDemetrius in “A Midsummer’s Night Dream.” Despite the numerous times Demetrius Lambasts her as “dog” or a “cur”, we still get the impression that Helena is still madly in love with the potential that her previous relationship with Demetrius could’ve been something truly special. Her very first introduction to us is the following:
For ere Demetrius look’d on Hermia’s eyne,
He hail’d down oaths that he was only mine;
And when this hail some heat from Hermia felt,
So he dissolv’d, and show’rs of oaths did melt.” - Act 1, Scene 1
Blame is shifted onto the external factor of Hermia and she begs Demetrius to “give (her) leave, (…) to follow you” in order to both figuratively and literally chase him – she is, in just about every way, pursuing a revival of their previous love. We follow a deeply unhappy Helena pursue a man who does not want her back and does not play into the “What If” she so desires. However, interestingly for us, they do end up with their “What If” and that classic “Happy Ever After.” After a magic love potion is given to Demetrius, he falls passionately in love with Helena. However, we’ve seen time and time again from this play that the love potion is not truly representative of what love is – it creates an artificial, full on and dream-like lust more than anything else. It mimics a passionate love rather than solidifies a true one. The play ends with Demetrius and Helena together but the thought remains – yes, Helena gained her “what if”, but will it be everything she ever wanted if it is not as genuine as it could be?
A Better Version of The World
Rather than criticising and idealising a relationship with unhealthy inputs and outputs, the next reason why we perhaps fantasise about the “what if” is because of the big, wide world. The scary thing that we can’t control sometimes. This romanticism of the “What If” comes from our need to control our actions and our natural unwillingness to not want to give in to the factors of the world that stop us from achieving what we want to achieve. Take for example, David Levithan’s “Every Day” wherein a ghostly spirit known as “A” assumes the body of a different person every day. They always have and always will. The problem arises in the book when A wakes up and falls in love with Rhiannon, the girlfriend of one of the people whose body they are inhabiting on that particular day. When you change body every day, do you have a chance at love when nothing is stable for you?
A finds themselves in a series of ethical decisions all surrounding what it actually means to be in love and they eventually decide that sometimes, a “what if” is better than the alternative; a future which won’t add up to the beauty of the beginning. They remark the time they spent with Rhiannon citing;
“I wake up thinking of yesterday. The joy is in remembering; the pain is in knowing it was yesterday.”
As readers and people, being partakers to this version of the “what if” means that we have a wistful, unrealistic want that can never be achieved. However, the thought stays with us – at least we had something so beautiful and enjoyable for the time we had it. Perhaps maybe the romance comes in the remembrance rather than the action itself? Maybe the “what if” for what they could have is better than what the world will be able to give them? The “what if” is perhaps a want for a better world where obstacles don’t stop a love lost.
Rhiannon and A have plenty of turbulent times, but the overall impression of the book is that it’s better to have loved and lost – than to have never loved at all. Especially when the loss has very little to do with what you can control.
A Better Version of Yourself
Whilst the world may throw us obstacles that we can’t see coming or cannot control, the last example that examines our romanticism of the “What If” is a little more hopeful because it’s something we can actually have some remnants of choice over. Ourselves. Mitch Albom’s “For One More Day”, presents us with our main character, Chick Benetto who loses consciousness amidst a suicide attempt and imagines spending one last day with his deceased mother. It’s a touching tale of morality and parenthood and humanity that makes you want to hug the people no longer around you – the ultimate “what if.”
Chick sees the hardships that his mother went through in his adolescence and uncovers things about his family and upbringing that he never knew. This sense of knowledge and clarity gives him a longing to improve the life that he is in – to make up for the lost opportunities, especially with his estranged daughter.
What’s hopeful about “For One More Day” is that Albom almost gives us an alternative to the “What If” – what if this reality we can never have motivates us to be a better person? What if it serves its purpose by acting as a motivator for what might possibly actually be attainable?
By the end of the novel, we see Chick go into a renaissance, commit to a redemption arc and we know that eventually he dies a happier man than he was at the beginning of the book. This exploration of the “What If” is perhaps the most hopeful and the most human because it plays into our natural, human want and need to be better. To gain knowledge, become more informed and become a more evolved, kinder person.
With all of these readings of the “What if?”, it’s hard to conclude if it’s a good or a bad thing that Western literature seems to have a bit of an obsession with it but from where I’m standing – it’s a good indication that we, as a species, will always want a sense of “the better.” Be it romantic, personal, emotional etc. And isn’t that the most human thing of all?
“I love you every day. And now I will miss you every day.”
– Mitch Albom, For One More Day.
Meet this weeks writer Bronte Appleby
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